Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
