He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
