Only a mothe r could love this liver
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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