also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
