Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
