I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize