I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
