plz talk dirty to me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
