you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
