I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
