She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
