he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
