her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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