Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
