He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Bring me that man meat
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
