i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize