your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
