Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
