Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
