I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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