OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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