I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
