In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
