you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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