one might say we're banned from that church
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
