Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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