Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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