I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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