READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
