I will die if light touches me.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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