I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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