More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sober January is a disaster.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
