he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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