plz talk dirty to me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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