my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it hurts more in the daytime
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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