we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
