We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
