so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
