There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize