He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
