i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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