did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize