"it" just moved
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hippo gnu deer
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize