Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
