He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
