So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
