How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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