Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
