my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
