just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
