is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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