i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
