Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize