we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
