I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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