apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
