you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
