getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
