I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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