NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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