Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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