You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
