I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
