bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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