This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had to cum in my sink.
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