He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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