I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
