He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
do herpes really smell.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
