Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
worst night to have a conscience
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
