hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
