Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
