Just mADE A PArabola og urine
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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